A new bilingual card game developed by Otago Hospice is helping New Zealanders start conversations about some of life’s biggest questions: what truly matters to us, what we value, how we want to live and, ultimately, what matters to us at the end of life.
The Big Questions | Ngā Pātai Nui was created at Otago Hospice by Denise van Aalst, a senior palliative care nurse and educator who leads the Hospice’s Kōwhai Programme for whānau carers.
Drawing on more than 20 years’ experience in palliative care, Denise has seen first-hand how difficult it can be for families when they do not know what a loved one would have wanted.
“Many people find it hard to talk about death and dying. For some, talking about it makes it feel too real, too close.” Denise says.
“But in palliative care, we believe that talking about death and dying and getting things in order allows us to focus on living. These cards are really about creating the opportunity for those conversations before they become difficult or urgent.”
Otago Hospice has previously used and promoted Go Wish, a card game developed in the United States. Denise saw an opportunity to create something that reflected Aotearoa New Zealand’s culture and values, while broadening the conversation beyond dying to include how people want to live.
Working with palliative care colleagues, she developed questions ranging from the thoughtful to the joyful, including “What gets me out of bed in the morning?” and “What is my favourite memory so far?”
The cards were trialled with the Otago Hospice team and community groups. What was initially expected to be a project of just a few months, ultimately took 20 months to develop.
Every card is presented in both English and Te Reo Māori.
No rules and no right answers
There are no rules to The Big Questions | Ngā Pātai Nui, and there are no right or wrong answers.
Everyone taking part has the opportunity to answer the questions, meaning the conversation is shared rather than focusing on one person. The cards can be used with friends and whānau at any stage of life, as well as helping families open important conversations following a terminal diagnosis.
Asked who she hopes will use the cards, Denise’s answer is simple: “Everyone, everywhere.”
Her hope is that people who spend time with The Big Questions | Ngā Pātai Nui will come away with “a deeper knowledge of the people they love, and of themselves too”.
Where to get The Big Questions | Ngā Pātai Nui
The Big Questions | Ngā Pātai Nui is available through the Otago Community Hospice website or in person from Otago Community Hospice, 293 North Road, Dunedin